these days of leiderhosen

For those who I have been unable to define " art yarn " for, I present insubordiknit . Thank you. That is all.

Do I have a problem. This blog has been compromised by family. (Yes, Jules - my sweet? Scott, Sarah? It goes without saying... ) So Darlings, would you please just understand this is rather trite conversations I have with myself and the keyboard and maybe those few darling people who email me directly asking why the fuck aren't updates posting now now now. Not for family gossip or distribution in the annual Christmas Letter . Under this situation, one can't really ponder blog-wise about the current location of one's BDSM gear freely when Mum is reading. Because she will ask what sport BDSM is and what kind of equipment one would need. Over Christmas dinner. While we aspirate our squash soup . We should mention that the extended family (Mix, Ben , Ty etc.) are always welcome. Actually this is exactly the intended audience when I am just not making shit up to just unkink my knuckles. You perpetuate my self-involved mythology of being more fascinating than I really am and f...

Tagged by choice, from the lovely Melinda June who likes sheep too. And because the NyQuil Hasn't kicked in and the Steven's off to Sesshin: The Leiderhosen Smack Worthy Offenses Ultra low-rise jeans with the colored g-strings. Oh, Honey Sweetie Sugar... oh please, please don't. Deliberate bad parking. Lunchroom/Kitchen spam. In other words: pamphlets. Over-plucked eyebrows. Surprise does not mean "younger". Petulant, spoilt children. The half drunk four dollar latte abandoned next to a garbage can. What exactly is supposed to be its destiny? A great busker with an empty hat and a lousy audience. Pushing, bumping, shoving. Freaks me out. Anyone over 16 on a skateboard. This offense has cause some shouted epithets to the tune of: "HOW -in the name of bakesales- do you ever expect to get LAID?!" Yes, I know. I am going to Hell. People unwilling to dance or risk appearing foolish. Bulimics: insulting to food and those who create it. Read it all? You're...

I have cold. The flight/trip has been cancelled, so it's off for a Dr. Singha mustard bath and to fold myself into bed.

This was a very, very, very bad day. And what did I learn? - Don’t go to Therapy before work if there is a chance of drama. And certainly don’t go if they intend to lock you out of the office. - I am not ready for fully recycled Kleenex. - Don’t hand the Hippie Chick the keys to your sanity and allow her to practice parallel parking any project with a deadline. - Romney wool can be awfully pretty, but is it comfy enough to wear? Could I interest you in a little something in steel wool perhaps? - Dubiously safe crosswalks?: Heavy boots, old keys, half drunk lattes and some choice words. are all very good to have on hand. Mere screaming is not as satisfying with bumped shins. I am now off to San Diego to hang with Mix, Mike and the wee squirt Tyler. The Mission: to introduce Tyler to the concept of Uncle Heidi. Hopefully it won’t be too scary for either of us. I could use some peace.

El Ben has been visiting, providing a little clarity on just how goddamn scary the Match is. He has been wildly patient with our unwild and unfascinating ways around Casa Del Grant and I must say it was mighty good to see him. He has eaten everything I have shoved unceremoniously in front of him, a sure sign of an excellent house guest. And because Ben feigned interest: Franklin's Regicide Scarf . Geek Knitting is big. I intend on knitting my own geek very soon. Oh. wait.... The Dashing Miss Melinda June , Pie Maker Extraordinare of this Hemisphere, can now add an MBA Award to her list of glamorous successes. Well done! Fillup Munkee appears again on Zefrank's Blog with his take on bell ringing, children's art and food courts. Shake a monkey puppet at me and I am happy. Let's get the dance majors involved: The Protein Primer . (Bear with it; things get full-on sideshow crazy 3 minutes into it.) The second part of this joke is that these people writhing about on a spor...

The Brilliant Marnie's latest production: The Little Prince . Awesome. Now if I could just get her to knit me a Fox suit. Mark Bittman's No-Knead Bread has hit 53,774 incarnations, with every blogger bound and determined to improve upon it. Here's the next one I am gonna try. For the record, no wild yeasts occur in Oakland (all the benzene coming off Highway 24 probably). I am going to have to schedule an out of town just to corral a few back to live a coddled existence of feeding and massage in the fridge.