What I Hate

I hate:

Being filled with physical need, not knowing where and when the next embrace is coming from. I might just explode with desire. Messy.

Having discovered the pleasure of telling the people I love that I love them, and then being unable to tell the newer members of that group the same out of fear or misunderstanding. I get so much joy out of simply delivering that news to someone. As if it was not written all over me in capital, glowing letters.

Another Dark, Wet Night

I’m back in 7th grade again.

Please like me, I think. Please, please.
Please don’t see me as awkward, scary or desperate
Please accept me and my gifts. There’s no price to me as I give myself as freely as I can.

Please talk. Please call. Please text.
Please be your best self.

A daydream about Opal Cliffs

(It was as if you'd dropped me off past the dog beach, to let me have a day by my most happy self in my favorite spot on earth. Essentially my Valhalla.)

When I die, I want to go like that.

Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.

Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

Thoughts on the Divine

I have no problem with God although I was pretty fed up with his followers, particularly the ones who renamed and manhandled me into the Organization. The All-Knowing Invisible Sky Friend: watching everything and everyone, passing judgment and granting the wishes for one's followers? You could not convince me to buy into it.

Understanding that the brain is generating thought, appreciation and occasionally solace out of only electrical impulses is no less wonderous. Science, beauty, and creativity are all the higher power.

Knowing that there is no One True God, no Heaven and no Hell, decomposing is what I look forward to every day. Even as I sit writing this, I am dying and rotting with the greatest pleasure.

There are those loved ones who have up and left the party without me; I like reflecting on the lessons, experience, and love. Why some love still reverberates long after the person has been reduced to ash still mystifies and delights me. Without it, I would have perished long …