Tuesday, July 14, 2009

LSG Strikes again

Let me once again sing the praise of the Lazy Stupid Godless Group on Ravelry (for the non-knitterati, it's a website for knitters.

The LSG messageboard group is beyond awesome (the List Avatar is Johnny Cash flipping off the camera). There really is no point, other than to shoot the shit, share the grief and try to get through the day without killing anyone. Sometimes we just flash our racks and/or the latest yarn porn just amuse ourselves. Occasionally we pimp our co-workers.

The Big Issues come up pretty regularly, in between long diatribes about sex of all varieties. Today some young thing requested help with an abrupt call to return home to an alienated and unhappy family for the death of a cousin. This was her first big experience with grieving in family context.

Good stuff came out of it and she got lots of good advice and the right smattering of sympathy:
  • People grieve or panic in unique ways. As far as I’m concerned, every way is right. The unspeakable tragedy: Parents losing children (even if the child is adult) are allowed to do whatever they need to do. Let ‘em.

  • Make tea. Lots of tea. If someone is sobbing uncontrollably hand them a clean towel and pat their back. Kleenex just doesn’t cut it.

  • Be civil. Say “thank you” a lot even when it’s completely out of context. They may find you confusing but damned if you aren't polite.

  • Go for long walks and take the knitting. Magically end up at a bar for hours at a time, sipping something very slowly. When they ask “whereyabeen” say “thinking”. Refuse to elaborate.

  • Manically clean or find some other big project that involves enough exertion or concentration where talking is inappropriate. Either people with shut up and pitch in or they will just leave you the fuck alone.

  • Listen. Just allow people to go on and on, mentally checking out while aquiring the sterling reputation as a thoughtful and considerate family member.

Where was has LSG been all my life?

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