Saturday, December 03, 2005

Crazy Lady That is Not Me. This Time.

The utterly mad perpetually stoned out landlady is getting on my nerves. I will not answer her calls to help pull her out of bed at 6:00 AM or go outside downstairs in the dark and wet at 10:55 PM to corral her dog in the house. Ungracious as it sounds, she does manage to get up out of bed and eventually the dog goes inside.

The constant pestering for handyman type chores (and if I say no five times, you can be sure I pretty much mean it), the offer of half-spoiled food out of her fridge, her incredibly filthy house, her unwillingness to remember anything I explain to her in regard to the internet or her computer....constant constant demands. I am on the verge of throwing the emergency ladder out of the garret window (yes, I have my own personal garret) and scrambling out of the house via the alley so that I will not be perpetually ambushed by her AOL questions every time I leave or enter the building.

So S & I spent the morning drilling holes in the side of her house to thread her video cable in to her bedroom so she need never move from that rathole of a room ever again. Originally, We said no". We said "no" a lot. It went smoothly, aside from one small accident, but the kicker is this: she stood over us, depending who was running the drill at the time (S. outside half-lying in a puddle and myself inside behind her filthy bed on a unvaccumed ratty carpet amidst dog-chewed kleenex and a large pile of dead ants) the entire time, perpetually questioning and advising and going utterly on and on and on. Oh MY.

So in the end, the damn cable was installed, showers were taken, clothes were changed and S & I raced away to San Francisco for lunch before the lousy cow could come up with any other little chores to demand. I think was angers me most about this is the amount of time she seems to spend speculating and calculating on my time and patience.

Okay, Back to San Francisco!!: At Chow: S. had a very respectable mushroom lasagna in b├ęchamel and for dessert I had a ginger cake with pumpkin ice cream, whipped cream and caramel sauce that was really quite nice.

Afterwards we traipsed down Castro (one must traipse) to Cliff's Variety and discovered (my stars!) Cliff's Variety II! Shower Curtains, Yarn, and puppets! Wigs and boas and theatrical makeup! A light blue pageboy wig was taunting me from her stand, but I was strong.

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