Lay Off.

Today, in my selfish little work world, at least one person will be laid off from my work group.

It's no a surprise but unfortunately will be done in an alarmist way I do not approve off. Although no one I know from work reads this blog, I'm checking myself into the Blogger confessional now with an act of State of California Act of Contrition and proceeding:

What I know:

• The person will have worked at the group longer than I have and will be more committed to the project than I am.
• This person, although currently unknown to me, will be of my gender but most likely a different race. These sickening biases are pretty blatant even here at Flaming Liberal Central and at this day in age.
• This will be someone that I like and have respected for some time.
• Although I have done everything I can to prevent this, I will still feel horrible and responsible for this act. The fact that this is occurring is proof that no one of authority values or reviews the information I provide. It was preventable but the hubris and the blindfolds of faculty entitlement have come to this damaging conclusion.
• My job will be all the more difficult without this person. I will be less happy to be here.
• Although they will find a better position with better people, they will be heartbroken and stunned.
• In a small way, I still hope it'll be me.

I reckon I won't be worth much after this big all staff meeting, so this afternoon I'll wander back to the office by way of the pub and have a quiet pint and fries and wallow a bit more in this puddle of guilt. (God knows, nothing's staying down now.) Should you feel the need yourself for a beer this afternoon and can spend five minutes telling me old stupid jokes in the Land the Work Forgot, I'd be mighty pleased to see you.